100% Linen Swim Shorts

from $80.00

Available in S - XL Save $40 when you buy 3

Ships in 4 weeks.

100% Linen Swim Shorts. Not seen since the 1940’s: natural fibre swim shorts. Maintain your testosterone with NO polyester and NO testicle cage. Dries fast, feels great. Check additional info for details.

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Available in S - XL Save $40 when you buy 3

Ships in 4 weeks.

100% Linen Swim Shorts. Not seen since the 1940’s: natural fibre swim shorts. Maintain your testosterone with NO polyester and NO testicle cage. Dries fast, feels great. Check additional info for details.

Available in S - XL Save $40 when you buy 3

Ships in 4 weeks.

100% Linen Swim Shorts. Not seen since the 1940’s: natural fibre swim shorts. Maintain your testosterone with NO polyester and NO testicle cage. Dries fast, feels great. Check additional info for details.

  • SAVE YOUR TESTOSTERONE!

    When you wear standard polyester swim trunks, you are lowering your testosterone. Our 100% linen swim shorts are special in many ways but having no plastic in them is the main ingredient. 

    PLASTIC LEACHES INTO WHATEVER ITS TOUCHING

    Especially on hot summer days, plastic releases endocrine disruptors into your skin and messes with your body’s ability to produce and utilize testosterone. 

    YOUR SWIMMERS NEED TO BE COOLER THAN YOUR BODY

    The testicle cage that comes in a standard pair of polyester swim trunks over-rides your body’s natural ability to regulate the temperature of the testes by inhibiting the CREMASTER muscle which lowers and raises the ball bag. If your cremaster muscle is inhibited, your testosterone and sperm production is lowered. THAT SUCKS.

    OUR SHORTS HAVE NO CAGE

    We do not have a cage in our shorts so your balls are free to roam up and down when needed - plus it’s a kazillion times more comfortable. 

    I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO SEE MY BALLS THOUGH

    Of course you still want privacy when you are at a public beach, pool, etc. That’s why we designed our swim shorts with special leg pulls (100% linen!) that keep your sacred nuggets safe from prying eyes. 

    WHY LINEN?

    Linen is the fastest drying natural fabric. In a mediocre summer in Vancouver BC, our shorts dry in just under 20 mins. To decrease drying time, we even included built-in pocket-pulls. 

    Something else to consider: linen’s frequency is 5000 angstroms or vital light energy. Cotton’s frequency is 100. Polyester has a frequency of ZERO. Linen is literally a holy fabric. 

    HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR SIZE

    When choosing a size, it is important to consider the thickness of your quads and the size of your glutes (butt). If you have skinny legs and a small butt and your waist is under 30 inches, you should get the small size. 

    The waistbands are stretchy, so medium or large sizes will work for most men. 

  • If you have skinny legs, you should get the small size.

    The waistband is stretchy and has linen rope pulls so it can be easily adjusted.

  • 100% Linen

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